my <3 feels funny.

intimacy with the King.

Ezekiel 16:8

i'm sick of seeing the same things day after day: school, study, work. school, study, work. and a coffee break here and there. everything is so routine.

i feel so...... lifeless.

?

insatiable desire for beauty.

...King of wonders, you know the way to my heart...

holy moly. being broken in so many ways at once. my heart and my head are in two different places. need to surrender, need to obey, need to pray. need my heart to change. pronto.

Here's what I've been missing for the past 3 months:

1. Good coffee WITHOUT the frantic studying.
2. wine tasting.
3. retail therapy.
4. cooking & serving brunch for family & friends.
5. going to a random hockey game. hahah
6. sleeping in. lounging. watching tv.
7. practicing photography.
8. much-needed pampering.
9. snowboarding.
10. leaving LA for a day. or two. or three. or forever.
11. 10+ years of catching up with a cousin.
12. mailing gifts to my baby niece and nephew.
13. vchatting with soulmates.
14. learning to love people.
15. grocery shopping at wholefood's/trader joe's.
16. baking, packaging, and sharing goodies made from scratch.
17. finishing a good book & watching movies.
18. loving on my small group girls.
19. international (and domestic) flights.
20. lunch dates with my sister.
21. spending time in a bookstore.
22. fine dining with the old roommates.
23. SC football games.
24. captivating love, overwhelming beauty.
25. peace.


November 6 cannot come any sooner.

God, they are so cute.

I love them.

emotionally, mentally, physically DRAINED.
it feels like everything is happening at once and i'm barely holding on to my sanity.
i want to stop thinking. just stop. breathe. take time to enjoy coffee with a friend. talk about life. talk about love. talk about God and all the crazy ways He's answering prayers left and right. talk about the small blessings. the big blessings. the unexpected blessings. the sin. brokenness. fear. insecurities.... everything. just get it off my chest. and. move. on. to greater glory.

greater glory, Lord. You promised.

read this:

http://jaesonma.com/365-days-of-love-day-284-the-5-pillars-of-manhood-how-men-should-love-respect-women/

be still, my soul, be still.

All i want to do is sing for you.

so many DIVINE appointments, it's crazy.
is this how he's teaching me the Lesson of Love??

:D

Even though things are stressful, mundane, busy, I'm excited for the things to come.

His promises are good.
Sunday is going to be the start of heavenly things. :)

I'm learning the lesson of love.
How do I love?

i feel so dry.

i need an outpouring. a deluge.

A man walks into the pharmacy with a prescription for a woman.
He seems nervous.
He tells me the patient just had a baby.
I quickly process the prescription and let him know it'll take about 15 minutes.
He says ok, and sheepishly asks if it's ok for him to go back to the hospital room.
I smile at him and tell him "of course".
He smiles and has this look I can't explain.
Mixed emotions, I'm sure. Pride, joy, maybe even fear of becoming a father.
But that look. I can't forget.
He looked so darn happy, so happy to be able to attend to the new mommy.
He looked so happy.

There's something about a pure heart that is so endearing.

"Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes..."
Song of Songs 1:3

RETREAT in a nutshell.

Pray for healing for two students who weren't feeling too well and almost quarantined at the infirmary if their fever didn't go down. I walked them down to the infirmary, reassuring them that God wouldn't let them miss retreat. Then, asked them to pray with me against the enemy's attacks. Low and behold, temperature went down to 98,99 degrees, and they left the infirmary with smiling faces, knowing that it was all in God's plan for them to worship Him.

Same night, I was able to finally see how my profession/calling could be used for His kingdom. Prayer request answered.

Had my own spiritual attack. But, it's alright. i can handle it.

During Small Groups, we met in the cabins and climbed on the top bunks to have a time of sharing. I was so encouraged that my 8th grade girls were willing to open up to each other and me and share their prayer requests. We held hands in one circle and prayed sentence prayers. They pray such simple yet pure prayers and I'm sure that God is pleased. I need to learn how to pray like they do...

Saturday's morning and night worships. I loved seeing the kids jump up and down. Especially the little little kids. it makes me smile and laugh. they are so cute.
Reminded me of all the times we were able to feel the Spirit of Joy worshiping at Kingdoms First or Emmaus/New Philly Retreats. I am blessed to see the same spirit come upon this ministry. :)

Last night, prayed for healing in a student who had a sore throat, so she could praise God with her beautiful voice. Don't know if she actually got healed...

Hugged all my small group girls before leaving... Even through they are all so different, I love each of them to death. they are so cute. During the last small group, I asked them to open up about their scars... I think the only scars that came to their mind were emotional scars related to boys. So, i referred them to Proverbs 4:23. I'm considering making it a memory verse for them. :P

Had a powerful time of prayer with the leaders/TAs. It's a start for greater things to come... I claim it in His name. :)

The drive down was beautiful. open time of sharing with a sister I am so blessed to have met.



What a perfect way to end the summer. i am content.